This summer has just been a whirlwind of activity and changes. I won't go into all the craziness right now, maybe another post. I just want to talk about what is affecting us the most right now.
Due to the new preschool class times, we've had to make the switch from center based ABA, to in home ABA. His first session is on Friday, he will go full time (25 hours a week) on the 27th. They're working on scheduling still ...when he's full time, our new days will look like this-
Drop sisters off at 7:30
Home for ABA from 8:00-10:30
Leave for prek at 10:45, which runs from 11:15-2:15
Pick L up, possibly pick C up but I don't see her making it to the car on time. Lol. Or they might ride home with my friend and her kids, not sure yet.
ABA again from 3:30-6:00
Leaving me 2 hours a day from 7:15 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. when I'm not driving or here for ABA. It's what we do, right? : )
I'm kind of scattered today, been a week of very little sleep so far.
Yesterday was officially his last day at center. We've been talking about it daily, for at least 2 weeks. We did not want it to be a surprise, we wanted to make it seem like a fun change, we wanted him to have time to hopefully process it. He had a friend at center leave a couple weeks ago and we used that as an aide ..."just like D had his last day, remember? And how he doesn't come to center anymore."
He seemed okay. We didn't know how much he got it. He pretty much just repeated back what we said, always with a smile. We would get to center and he would happily tell everyone "I have one week left at center!" Things like that. I thought we were going to be more upset about leaving than he was.
Boy was I wrong. Monday morning, we talked when he woke up as usual (I slack horribly on this blog so I don't even remember how verbal he was during my last updates, but he's way up there now) and we talked about how this was his last week, he only had 3 days left, etc. Instant mood switch. He was PISSED. Monday was an awful day, and a worse night, behavior and mood wise. Tuesday was even worse. Yesterday morning was bad. We were able to get him to verbalize that he was angry that he was leaving center. And was he ever angry, omg. Lots of aggression. So much yelling.
I wasn't there for his final pick up. From what I was told, it was very tearful. His one tutor, N, who had been with him since almost day one ...she just cried and cried, I guess. : ( He came in furious. He was mad for hours, up until about 7:30 when I got home from L's orientation. He was trying to hit Monkey Baby and I called him over and sat him in my lap and he just grabbed me and SOBBED. He cried like his heart was being ripped out. I asked him questions I hated to ask because it made him cry more, but he needs the words to vocalize why he is feeling the way he is.
"Are you upset that it was your last day? Are you sad because you're leaving N? Are you going to miss her, and A and all of your tutors and friends?" etc. I reassured him that he can still be friends with N, that we will see them all on Friday for his cool, fun graduation party. I held him and in between his heartwrenching sobs and wails, and mine and Papa's tears, we talked.
Then he said "do you know why I'm crying? My leg hurts, because I fell down when it was D's last day." That really did happen, but it was weeks ago, so his leg is fine. So I said "are you sure your leg still hurts, or are you crying because last days are hard?" Sobbing-"yes! Last days are hard! last days are hard! I want to stay at center!" : (
I am so incredibly heart broken for him. And honestly, I am sad for us, too. Those of us with ASD kiddos (or any wide range of diagnosis) know how important those people are. The ones who know how damn hard your kid has worked to make the progress he/she has. Who celebrates it all. Who smile when they see him and stop whatever they're doing to say hi or listen to what he's saying, because he talks now, and they're genuinely happy that he is initating a greeting or showing them something he is excited about.
I'm sure his in home team will be great. I know we will get to know his new team and he will have fun with his new tutors. I have no doubts he will continue to make progress. But none of that changes how very sad those goodbyes were. : ( Not even the hundred kisses he requested last night take away his sadness. I know time will, but for now, it's really, really hard.
